When a funeral can bring out the worst

It's funny how the past pops up in your mind when you are dealing with drama.

My aunt's funeral back in May 2016 was a day that I wanted to forget for more reasons than one. This aunt was my daddy's sister, and she was a Ph.D. in early childhood education. Her husband was a Ph.D. too. She was in a car accident that did not seem like much. She and the young lady exchanged information, the police came out and got information for a report, and they were supposed to go on their way. My aunt didn't immediately get in the car. She sat on the curb and had lost her memory - did not know who she was or how to get home. She was sent to the hospital to get checked out and her family came to get her. She wasn't the same after that accident, and she kept going downhill until she passed away.

On the day of the funeral, I was supposed to go get my mama (her sister-in-law) to give her a ride to the funeral, but because my husband needed extra time, I told him I would get her over to my other aunt's house, head back to pick him up, then we would meet them at the funeral home where the service was held.

I hopped in the car and told Mama what I was planning to do.

She freaked out. She didn't want me making two trips to that side of town, plus she was not ready. She told me to wait until my husband was ready and then come get her, even though I knew it was the WRONG thing to do.

I should have followed my first mind.

We left home at 11:45am, and the funeral started at noon - and it took us 25 minutes to get to my mama's place. Yeah, I LOSE.

When we called, she freaked out again and told us to go directly to the funeral since we were so late.

We got to the funeral home at 12:30pm, and only were there for the LAST 15 minutes of my aunt's funeral. I LOSE AGAIN.

After the funeral, we picked up my mama to take her to the repast at my other aunt's church. She fussed at us all the way there for not being on time and missing almost all of the homegoing service. We got there, ate and visited for a bit, then we all headed over to my other aunt's house.

At the time, my husband was in graduate school. Because of a HUGE exam he had that week, I tell Mama that I am dropping her off at my aunt's then taking him home. He wanted to stay over for a bit, but I was adamant about him getting back to study. She told me to go on. She assumed that I would drop him off then come back to hang out with family.

I didn't.

Yep - three time LOSER in the building.

When she gets a ride home, she calls and TEARS into me, seething mad about everything. She vents and wants me to vent back. I kept quiet and let her vent. Then she wants to talk to my husband so she can vent at him. I would not allow that conversation to happen, because I wasn't looking to start WW5 that day.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because some times, you have GREAT days. But then there are days like today, where everything is going to h*}} in a handbasket, and all you really want to do is crawl back into bed and start over.

But...

In times like these...

When everything is a LOSE for you - just like it was for me back in the day...

You've gotta KEEP pushing forward.

No matter who gets angry.

No matter what is happening.

No matter how horrible you feel.

No matter if it is your fault or not.

No matter what.

Let go of the drama and the past mistakes and start fresh. If you are ready to do this, I am ready to partner with you.

http://itsclarissa.me/bod