Losing people is tough, but…

I called my mama to check in and see how she was doing.

The first words out of her mouth were, "I have some sad news." I did not know that the person she said had passed away would hit me so hard.

My mind immediately went back to being a kid involved in church with this young man. He was about 5 or 6 years younger than me and was part of one of the "founding families" of the church where I grew up. See, when I was growing up, kids had no choice but to be in the youth choir or on the youth usher board. And you were expected to be in the building every single Sunday, unless you were sick or visiting out-of-state family for the summer. And let's not get started on the Vacation Bible School circuit every summer.

Sorry, I digress.

This young man was an old soul, even at a young age. There was a time when he was 6 and helped with devotion one Sunday morning. He was asked to pray, and let me tell you - he prayed like the older deacons, but had his own spin on things. After that, everyone thought he would grow up to be a preacher or a deacon like his uncles.

He sat next to me most Sundays and was like a little brother to me.

So when I heard that he was gone, and that it happened within a 4 day time period, it hurt. We still don't know what happened yet, but right now, my focus is on his mom, grandmother, sister, and niece and nephew. They are devastated for sure.

It is so tough losing those that you know, that you grew up with and care about.

But do you know what is worse?

Staying in the hurt and pain that comes from loss.

It is so painful to watch someone who never gets over a loss. They become stuck in the loss, never moving forward, never being open to allowing the happy memories to keep them going. The ones who stay stuck end up dying at that point in time. It's sad to see.

Grief after a loss is 100 percent necessary. It is imperative that we feel the pain and take all the time we need with those feelings. However, it is also necessary that we take that pain and become productive in it. We either move forward, or honor the person's life and legacy, or be there for others in their grief as an example of the next steps.

Beautiful things can come from loss.

We must grieve, feel the hurt and sadness, and when we are ready, keep moving forward.

Comment below and let me know how you handle loss.

Rest well, my church "little brother", rest well.

Your partner in "feeling sad after loss",

Clarissa